Ever Since Then
by Couatl
Summary: A Kuga Natsuki loved a Fujino Shizuru // Requited love can hurt just as badly.
1. Ever Since Then

Disclaimer: No.

Note: This is rather choppy and curt. Ignore the writing style if you find it distasteful?

--

_Beautiful Natsuki.  
Innocent Natsuki.  
Pure Natsuki._

She wasn't sure what little pinprick of madness in Fujino Shizuru spawned these beliefs, but since it made her befriend her, like her, _love_ her, she chose to play the part that Shizuru created for her.

She did not know which was scarier. The fact that she had been _pretending_ to be the Natsuki Shizuru loved all this time, or the fact that the role _fit_ like a glove.

Ever since then, she became the Kuga Natsuki that Shizuru knew.

--

**Ever Since Then**

_Requited love can hurt just as badly._

* * *

It was said that Fujino Shizuru was observant, sharp, alert at all times.  
But Natsuki was deceitful, quick-witted, and _so very much in love_.

Natsuki would frequently throw her glances, frequently dream about her, frequently skip class just to observe Shizuru during a lesson through the window glass while hidden in a tree.

But frequent was never frequently enough, and as Shizuru proved herself to be more and more oblivious, Natsuki proved herself to be more and more impatient.

Every so often, she would visit the garden behind the school she knew Shizuru would turn up at, and every so often, Shizuru would show up at the garden to escape from her fangirls, and every so often, Natsuki would turn her head to look at an ignorant Shizuru, and every so often –

She would wonder if this girl was worth it; worth the effort, worth the hope, worth the pain.

And, not every so often but _always_, she would answer herself with an affirming nod.

_Of course._

Ever since then, she vowed that she would make Shizuru hers.

--

_Natsuki stood at the base of the large oak tree, seated comfortably between the roots that protruded from the ground in an intimidating manner. The playground seemed less inviting ever since the other children came, sneering unattractively at the cobalt-haired girl because she didn't have a father._

_In her lap, a small jar of mayonnaise was placed and she listlessly tried to pry the lid open, upset because it was the only thing left in the fridge because Okaa-san forgot to go to the grocery. She was hungry, it was just a condiment, and it wasn't enough for her._

_The next thing she saw was red, red, red, and she realised that there was a smiling girl kneeling in front of her. Natsuki blinked, stared, and waited._

"_Can I sit here?"_

_The voice was laced with eager anticipation, raw sincerity, and it made the other children sound like toads when they spoke. Natsuki was surprised, and she nodded her head cautiously, wondering if it was just another trick that the mob of other children was playing on her._

_The flaxen-haired girl exclaimed happily, turning around to lay her head on Natsuki's left thigh as she sat down. She wriggled a bit before finally settling down in a comfortable position on her thigh, and that was when Natsuki realised that she was ticklish when she squirmed._

_She saw the other girl's burgundy eyes light up in delight as she giggled, and the other girl laughed along as well – an ordinary, clear, childlike laugh, but it made Natsuki feel as if something inside her stomach was fluttering about. She had a feeling that it was not the mayonnaise._

"_Ara, what's that?"_

"… _Mayonnaise."_

"_Does it taste nice?"_

"_I don't know; I've never tried it."_

"_Can I have some? We could try it together!"_

"_Okay."_

"_Ookini."_

_The lid was snatched off the abused jar, and both reached their little hands into the container to remove a finger of mayonnaise. Natsuki watched on in awe as the older of the two somehow managed to lick the mayonnaise off her finger daintily, her own blob of mayonnaise dripping onto the crimson-eyed girl's mouth as she finished hers._

_The older girl was surprised, and Natsuki was so embarrassed that the apology she had wanted to yell out got caught in her throat. Her mind struggled to gain control of her voice, but was unsuccessful as her face turned into a colour that rivaled the sunset._

_The light-goldenrod-haired girl smiled, almost devilishly, raised her head, leaned upwards and –_

_Kissed  
Her  
On  
The  
Lips._

"_Ara, so does mayonnaise taste nice?"_

_The other children were just as shocked as Natsuki was, and all games of Tag, Knight, and Police were paused immediately. The playground was silent, and even parents turned to see what had happened. The children glared menacingly at the emerald-eyed girl, who did not notice._

_But their threatening expressions were wiped clean by stares of even greater astonishment when Natsuki smiled – a smile so pleasant, so triumphant, so breathtaking._

_Ever since then, mayonnaise was her most favourite food in the universe._

--

It took a while before their first meeting.

She felt like she had won the universal lottery when Shizuru approached her for the very first time, kindly informing her that the flower she held in her hand had a right to live.

She felt like she had been stabbed in the heart when Shizuru approached her for the very first time, kindly informing her that the flower she held in her hand had a right to live.

Because Kuga Natsuki could not _even_ find a place in Fujino Shizuru's memories.  
Because Kuga Natsuki was not important enough to Fujino Shizuru for her to remember her.

Because while Kuga Natsuki was very much in love with Fujino Shizuru, Fujino Shizuru herself did not even know that _once_, when they were very young, Kuga Natsuki had fallen in love with Fujino Shizuru, and –

Ever since then, a Kuga Natsuki had loved a Fujino Shizuru.

--

Natsuki did not know whether she should be happy that her best friend was slowly but increasingly growing affections for her.  
What she did know was that the rate of increase in growth of said affections itself was rising higher.

Natsuki did not know whether she should be happy that her best friend was becoming more and more obsessed with her.  
What she did know was that the level of obsession was unhealthy and dangerous for Shizuru.

Natsuki did not know whether she should be happy that her best friend was now _hopelessly_ in love with her.

What she did know was that Shizuru would never dare to release her love out of that tiny cage.  
Not when her father was a wealthy businessman that could easily promise to send a hundred assassins after Natsuki unless Shizuru got rid of that _unnatural infatuation_.

Ever since then, Natsuki felt an invisible chisel chipping off a piece of her every time Shizuru looked at her with such broken eyes that even the once vibrant maroon had been reduced to a lifeless mud-brown.

--

Natsuki knew she _had_ to protect Shizuru.  
She could never forgive herself if she did not.

Natsuki would protect Shizuru from everything, so when she confronted Shizuru in the collapsing church, she could only say that she did not love Shizuru the way Shizuru loved her,

_Kiss  
Her  
On  
The  
Lips,_

And pretend that her heart did not just shatter into such tiny shards that even someone as observant, sharp, and alert _yet agonisingly oblivious_ as Shizuru would not be able to see them.

She had to protect Shizuru, protect her from everything, protect her from Natsuki herself.

Because even beautiful, innocent, pure _yet deceitful, quick-witted and so very much in love_ Natsuki can be a wolf.

Ever since then, even as she saw Shizuru _pretend_ that she was happy being married to another man, she told herself that she would wait.

"_What's the matter, Natsuki-chan?" _

"… _I'm in love with her."_

"… _Same here, Natsuki-chan. Look at me – I'm even more pathetic. I travel around the world to pretend to chase some old geezer of a professor, when everything I've ever wanted is right here, specifically in the Fuuka Academy infirmary."_

"_It's different."_

"_How?"_

"_Because she loves me too."_

"… _And?"_

"_She's not supposed, not allowed to. It's not what's expected of her. She can't, she just __**can't**__."_

Ever since then, Natsuki promised herself that she would wait, wait for a better day in her next life, and come back to fulfill her vow, claim her prize, make Shizuru hers and hers _alone_.

* * *

I present to you, the unofficial Prequel-To-Any-ShizuNatsu-Fanfiction.

I apologise if you found Natsuki out of character, but I don't believe that it was ever officially proven that Natsuki was that naive, disregarding the Mai HiME Manga which I refuse to finish reading. If you disagree, then please prove it to me, because I really want to know where Natsuki's sheer innocence originated from :D

And since my examinations are finally over (I know that I've failed Mathematics, Physics, and Chinese so far, which is three out of seven subjects, and three out of four known results), I can write a bit more?  
Meanwhile, my mother is not going to be happy about my results, so you may either;

- find me updating more, as I would be using the computer more often just to spite her for the tuition that will take up my end-of-year holidays, or  
- not find me at all, because I am buried under said tuition.

Ahaha, I hope I don't have to stay back a year, or I'm screwed.  
Kuga-san, please lend me Fujino-san for a while!


	2. She Never Said

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Mai HiME, I own Sunrise! :D Okay, so I don't.

**Note:** More of the same writing style.

--

Fujino Shizuru was married to a rich, handsome, good-natured young man – he ran a large-scale business, he drove a fancy sports car, he did not drink alcohol or smoke. He was everything any girl would ever wish for, a perfect man with a perfect life.

But Shizuru was not just _any_ girl, and the rich, handsome, good-natured young man was _only_ a rich, handsome, good-natured young man.

He could never be anything more than a rich, handsome, good-natured young man.  
He could never be anything more than her husband who ran a large-scale business, drove a fancy sports car, and did not drink alcohol or smoke.

Shizuru could say a lot about her husband – he was a rich, handsome, good-natured young man.

What she never said was that he could never, _never_ be Kuga Natsuki.

--

**She Never Said**

_Being mute would be less cruel._

**'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''**

She sat at the dinner table, right across from where Shizuru was elegantly seated. Natsuki was appalled, sad, and relieved as she noticed that Shizuru seemed to spend more time than she did with her husband – and perhaps a little bit guilty, knowing that their marriage will never work out.

Appalled because Shizuru still bothered.  
Sad because Shizuru still bothered.  
Relieved because Shizuru still bothered.

Because Shizuru still bothered to tease her, tutor her, talk to her, eat with her, go shopping with her, smile at her, laugh along with her, watch movies with her, spend the nights with her, drop the façade for her, dance in the rain with her, prepare picnics with her, ride on Ducati with her, grin at the puppies in the pet stores with her, cook mayonnaise pancakes for her, chuckle at her –

_Love_ her.

And that was good enough. Good enough for Kuga Natsuki.

_I don't need any more from her._

She reminded herself – reminded her straying fingers, her greedy eyes, her wistful smile, her shivering hands, her malfunctioning brain, her resigned pose, her desperate gaze, her wishful dreams, her vengeful emotions, her listless pacing, her parched throat, her clenched jaw.

She reminded herself, so that she would **remember** that she_ couldn't_ have Shizuru.

What she never said was that it was a stab in the stomach, whenever she remembered.

--

Natsuki was not a forgetful person; she just did not think it was worth the effort to remember things she deemed unimportant. There were many things that she deemed unimportant, and that was why she seemed to be forgetful at times. Nevertheless, there were things that Natsuki truly forgot.

She forgot that Mai had told her to buy more ramen ingredients that afternoon.

She forgot that she was supposed to turn up for extra lessons to make up for her absences.

She forgot that she had to do all the assignments and homework she received in those extra lessons.

But Natsuki really did remember things that were important to her, and these things had to be really important. Granted, there were things she remembered that did not seem important to other people, but it was a subjective matter. Natsuki remembered only the important, after all.

She remembered that she had to tune her Ducati the other day.

She remembered that the fridge was empty and she had to restock on mayonnaise.

She remembered that the entire business with revenge for her deceased mother had ended.

What she never said was that she remembered that once, underneath a large oak tree, between its roots, she had fallen in love, and _still_ was.

--

In her head, she could make a long list of what she liked; motorcycles, wolves, dogs, lingerie, guns, relaxing, holidays, video games, skipping class, tormenting Shizuru's fangirls, beating up Takeda, winning an argument with Nao, scaring the hell out of other students in Fuuka Academy –

"Natsuki, that's not a mayonnaise sandwich, it's mayonnaise with bread."

"And your point is?"

Natsuki glared at Mai, feeling mildly offended for her friend had just insulted her choice of food. She did not take kindly to most who dared to express their disapproval at her favourite food, whether or not they were fantastic cooks who probably did have far more knowledge of edible objects than she did.

"How can anyone eat that much mayonnaise? It's practically inhuman!"

"I love mayonnaise."

Natsuki grunted decisively, as if she was giving an order. Mai noted the trace of finality of her voice, and did not waste her breath to argue back – Natsuki could be a stubborn fool when she wanted to, and this was one of the times when she knew she would not win the quarrel.

Unlike her list of things she liked, Natsuki could only make a short list of things she _loved_; Ducati, Duran, her mother, and anything to do with mayonnaise.

What she never said was that Shizuru fell into a whole different category.

--

_Natsuki breathed in the scent of musty bark and the freshness of the bright green leaves, delicately layered by a thin blanket of dew. The same park, the same oak tree, the same time, and her eyes sought out the strange, burgundy-eyed girl that seemed to stand out from the rest of the children._

_She held the same jar of mayonnaise, hopefully, carefully – an entirely different posture from the day before; different from the unenthusiastic, discontented way she held it just a day ago. The children, naturally sensing a change in the usually stoic girl, gave her curious glances every now and then – a far cry from the regular dirty looks she normally received._

"_Ara."_

_She was greeted by that vivid smile again, from the very girl she was expecting. A couple of blinks, a glint of recognition, a breath of excitement, and she was grinning back with as much fervour as the child before her. The other, upon noticing the expressive reciprocation, seemed to glow brighter._

"_I never got your name."_

_The older of the two broke the ice, looking at her companion with expectant eyes. Natsuki was surprised, then delighted. She scrutinised the face, and was pleased to find that there was none of the disdainful undertones the other children carried when talking to her._

_Natsuki, always avoided and never approached, appeared to be quite an intimidating girl – the other children had long grown accustomed to her dark looks and quick fists, after a few sniggers thrown her way. Her sharp mind quickly deduced that the crimson-eyed girl was a newcomer, to not abide by the top playground rule – stay away from the girl who brawls viciously when provoked._

"_Natsuki."_

_She offered politely, dipping her head curtly – a good impression was necessary to befriend people, as her mother had instructed. She merely did not show any goodwill to the other children because they did not interest her, but the one standing before her with such a gleeful beam was an entirely different case._

_The other nodded in acknowledgement, sliding her hand over to grab hold of Natsuki's gently, eliciting a startled yet fascinated gasp from the emerald-eyed girl. She smiled that contagious smile of hers, and led Natsuki over to where the playground was, as if she did not notice the others' suspicious glares._

_Natsuki sent them scathing looks which quickly dissipated their simmering expressions, and followed the strange flaxen-haired child that seemed to place her companionship over the rests'. She pulled Natsuki up those plastic stairs that Natsuki had never ventured beyond before, from lack of interest rather than intimidation, and brought her to the queue that formed for the twin slides._

_It was the first time she had been on the playground, but Natsuki soon found herself more occupied by her acquaintance's chatter rather than the curious stares she received. She realised that the taller girl was actually quite talkative, though her words seemed to convey more meaning and maturity than the energetic tittering of the other children._

_She had asked 'How old is Natsuki?', to which the addressee had faltered before replying confidently with a 'Seven'. The other would then press on with a 'When is Natsuki's birthday?', and Natsuki would once again respond, this time with a 'August the fifteenth.' The girl pouted, and complained that Natsuki was older than her, because she was 'also seven' and her birthday was 'December the nineteenth'._

_Natsuki wondered whether she should be irritated that the girl was taller than her by a good few centimetres, now that she knew that she was younger than she was._

_She also wondered whether she should be irritated that the girl's pout only made her lips more appealing, considering that she still recalled the incident with mayonnaise the day before._

"_Otou-han is on a business trip, so we're all moving here for a while."_

_That would explain why she had never seen her here before, Natsuki thought, now with a slightly clearer idea of the girl. However, it only made that calm indifference to the others' disapproval and the quiet confidence radiating off her even more intriguing._

_The girl seemed to pause for a while, then rushed to lean over the railing and look at something in the distance. Natsuki's keen eyes caught sight of a waving figure, distinguishably female. She stole a glance at her acquaintance, who was waving back – and that was when Natsuki realised that the unfamiliar female was probably the girl's parent._

_The light-goldenrod-haired child turned around to face her, crimson eyes unreadable. Natsuki froze, and was somewhat concerned that she found herself worrying whether the girl was about to leave. She smiled at Natsuki – a smile that was both happy and disappointed, but was nonetheless still contagious._

_Natsuki wondered whether she should be irritated that she was smiling back._

"_Kannin na, Natsuki. I have to leave soon."_

_With that, she led Natsuki to the twin slides, at which the queue had already left, each child to their respective parents. Sitting down, she instructed Natsuki to follow her actions, and gave her a look that asked if she was ready. Natsuki nodded, determined to make the best of the one ride that they would take today._

_The slide, as was with all slides, was shorter than it should have been.  
Natsuki would grow to learn that it would be the shortest slide she had ever taken._

"_Goodbye, Natsuki."_

_Natsuki waved back, feeling a little less vigorous than she had previously felt._

_As she watched the retreating pair, Natsuki realised something with a pang of horror. The other girl had mentioned her age, her reasons for being here, and all sorts of other things –_

_What she never said was her name._

--

On some days, when Shizuru was not available or an option, Natsuki would seek Nao out. Perhaps for idle chat, perhaps for the company, perhaps for advice, and maybe, just _maybe_, for all three. For an ambiguous and somewhat unstable example prone to change, _now_ was one of those rare times.

"Kuga."

"Nao."

Greetings were always curt between the two, them being relatively straightforward people – Nao, however, preferred to play with her words for the sake of frustrating others, at times. It could be said that she had developed a talent for the manipulation of speech, and this was reflected clearly in her attitude as well, earning her a rather sordid reputation that she was actually quite proud of.

"Problems with Fujino again?"

"You reckon?"

Sarcasm was uncommon in Natsuki. Nao, as much as she would deny it to the ends of the universe, was slightly worried by this unusual display in behaviour. Perhaps it was because Natsuki had once protected her against an insane Shizuru, perhaps it was because deep down inside, she was someone who could care, perhaps it was that she was growing fond of the biker, and maybe, just _maybe_, it was all three.

"She's already married."

"I know."

"Perhaps I should give up."

"…"

"Yeah, I shou – "

"Does she still love you?"

"What?"

"Does she _still_ _love you_?"

"… Yes."

"I see."

"Then, I guess I really sho – "

"No."

"… What?"

"Don't _ever_ give up on her, Kuga."

"What?"

"You'll regret it. You'll regret it when you realise what you'd thrown away. You'll regret it when you realise that she killed herself because you left. You'll regret it when you realise what a bloody stupid decision you made."

"…"

Perhaps it was because she was really similar to Natsuki, perhaps it was because she had known Natsuki for a considerable number of years, perhaps it was because she was good at figuring people out, and maybe, just _maybe_, it was because of all three, but Nao was quite an expert on Natsuki.

Natsuki did not need to say some things, because Nao would already know.

"Thanks, Nao."

And what she never said was that she loved Fujino Shizuru.

**'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''**

Yes, I'm still alive. Somehow.  
And something went wrong with my rulers, so they've been replaced by punctuation.

I had known Shizuru's and Natsuki's birthdays, but it just hit me that Shizuru was younger. I didn't believe it at first, but when I compared their ages and birthdays with Haruka, it appeared to me that Natsuki was older than Shizuru. Either Wikipedia is even more unreliable than I had thought, or my mathematics are really appalling.

I'm willing to vouch for the second option.

Thanks for the reviews!  
I didn't think the idea of Natsuki loving Shizuru from the start would be accepted at all, actually.


	3. To Do With

Disclaimer: Negative.

Note: Ah, thank you all for pointing out my harsh mistake – I should have known that instincts were much more reliable than logic, considering mine. Nevertheless, the misconception actually opened up a plot device, which you shall witness in action next time.

---

There were often times when Shizuru would be alone at home, as her husband usually worked late – his large-scale business was something that took up a lot of time, and his fancy sports car was more for show than speed. The lack of alcohol consumption and smoking had nothing to do with it.

She would walk – idly, slowly, but with clear intent – over to her wooden desk. It was made from a mixture of strong, lightweight wood, and was made by a group of expert carpenters in Italy before being shipped to Japan. It had cost a small fortune, and even her rich, rich husband felt the pinch.

It was not the price and quality of the wooden desk that made it precious to her, though.  
It was what the pricy and good-quality Italian desk contained that made it far more important to her than any other desk in the world.

Hidden within its elaborately-carved drawers, measured to precision, were many, many objects she would never dare to lose.

It could be easily said that the desk was the most important thing her husband had ever bought her.

It had _nothing_ to do with the wedding photos she kept inside.  
They were somewhere underneath the little bottle of mayonnaise Natsuki gave her, the pictures she took with Natsuki, the rose Natsuki had offered her on Valentine's Day, the letters Natsuki wrote to her, the …

---

**To Do With**

_Fiction was often preferred over fact._

**'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''**

It was without doubt that Natsuki had many admirers as well, although they preferred to remain anonymous out of fear of the cobalt-haired girl coming after them with tightly-clenched fists and anger-fueled eyes. She was known to treat her fans to a sound beating, and occasionally a few broken bones when she was in a particularly bad mood.

One of the most prominent members of her unofficial fan base was Masashi Takeda, a young man who was proficient in athletics, and slightly above average when it came to academics. In conclusion, he was quite a nice guy, willing to go out of his way to help out his friends, determined, somewhat handsome in his own way, accomplished, and in love with a certain Kuga Natsuki.

Natsuki, much more anxious over her own love life than to feel flattered by his evident feelings, was startled when he gathered the nerve to propose to her in front of the entire academy. As such, she acted through the only way she knew how to, in those kind of situations – she gave him a severe head concussion, a collection of bruises, and a week off school.

Generally, Takeda was certainly a pleasant boy, with his own set of followers, although significantly smaller compared to Natsuki's or Shizuru's, for reasons unknown. He had his own sort of rugged, boyish charm about him, his grades were fine, he was polite, he was kind, he was devoted to his Kendo club, and he was persistent to chase his crush despite being given the cold shoulder.

It was just too bad that his romantic feelings for the emerald-eyed girl were not returned, nor would they ever be.

Natsuki, when seriously thinking about it, was somewhat sympathetic towards him. After all, she even wrote a letter to him to explain, loosely, how she did not even feel much _like_ for him, much less _love_. However, she _did_ write him a letter, and taking into consideration that she was not someone who enjoyed writing, it was more than enough.

It was not his fault that Natsuki did not like him all that much.  
It was mostly because Kuga Natsuki already loved one person, and would love _only _one person.

Natsuki felt that it had _something_ to do with the fact that he was not Fujino Shizuru.

---

_Tick.  
Tock._

Natsuki had never realised how aggravating time could be.

The clock rested, humbly, on the tilting shelf. It was a cheap one bought from the nearest minimart, when she had broken her trusty watch and was desperately in need of something that could tell the time – she needed something with an alarm too, or she would have never woken up in time for school.

It had seen better days, being the subject of the constant torture of being thrown to the floor in anger when Natsuki was rudely awakened by a shrill ringing noise that she would never be accustomed to. Like most non-digital clocks, it had a slim minute hand and a stout hour hand.

Right now, however, Natsuki would have advised it to ditch the hands and get some legs instead.

It was currently twenty-seven minutes to three; Natsuki was lying on her stomach on the couch, swinging her legs with a degree of exasperation as she stared at the clock she grasped in her hands. Time continued its everlasting sluggish gait, intentionally pausing between every step.

The digit three on the clock face promised her happiness, however temporary. But because of that, Natsuki would wait – wait for another chance to take her most precious person out, spend time with her, and relief her of some pain. It was the best she could do right now, she reckoned.

One day, she swore, she would banish all those little hurts, all those little grievances, all those little aches, just so that they would not mar her beauty.

Only a minute had passed.

The mental rant was then interrupted by prospects of a day at the carnival – colourful cotton candy to be shared, a Haunted Mansion in which she would see a flush or two, splashes as a couple of goldfish were caught, Ferris Wheel carriages bobbing as they ascended to the top, laughter as bumper cars crashed into each other, many happy exchanges of words, smiles directed at her –

It probably had _something_ to do with the fact that a certain someone had arrived at her doorstep twenty-six minutes before the appointed time.

---

"I'm tired of this, Nao."

"Heh. The Kuga I know isn't a quitter."

"The Kuga you know never existed."

Nao sighed, shutting her eyes for a moment, as if for a dramatic pause. She briefly wondered when Natsuki had been so cynical, and was a bit disturbed at the thought that could have been Natsuki all along, under the innocent puppy façade she had put up. It was discouraging, but Nao was a person who dealt with reality, and she steered the conversation to a different topic.

"This is something about Fujino again."

It was not a question, but rather a simple statement pointing at the obvious. Natsuki gave her a wry smile, and what already was obvious was reinforced. The red-haired girl was tempted to count to ten before pinching herself, in hopes that it was just a nightmare she had after watching too many soap operas. But then she remembered that she did not watch soap operas.

"I thought we had this talk already. About not giving up."

"She's in love with someone who was never real."

Nao shot her a long, hard look. In actuality, she was a wise individual, in her own way, and kept silent. The older of the two pressed her fingers to her forehead, massaging it aggressively, almost like she believed she could rub all her worries away from her mind. Her friend just stared, seemingly unimpressed by her predicament.

"Even if you may not realise it yet, this 'fake' Kuga that you speak of – you're not that great of an actor. You can't just pull out an entirely new personality out of thin air. This Kuga … it's an extension, an extension of what you are, or once were."

"Since when were you a psychiatrist?"

"… You don't need to be a psychiatrist to know all this. You're disturbingly translucent, Kuga – and I can tell that that isn't part of your acting either. This, coming from a third-person point of view."

Nao waved her hand dismissively, mouth stretched into a careless grin. Natsuki was mildly incredulous, and looked at her friend strangely. Nao had a knowing smile that was all too friendly, and to say Natsuki was suspicious of the peculiar expression adorning the usually scowling face was an understatement.

"What the hell, Nao?"

"Yes, I'm probably drunk again, but I'll tell you something. Without Fujino, you're nothing but an empty soul-kind-of-thing, but …"

"But what?"

"But for Fujino, without you, she'd never have existed in the first place."

Natsuki felt her heart sink and soar at the same time.

It had _something_ to do with knowing that Nao was typically right, even more so when intoxicated and therefore unable to lie.

---

_Natsuki hastily dumped a few textbooks into her bag, making sure that the bottle of mayonnaise had been included in the messy lunch she had packed for herself. She was already in highschool, but she had never grown used to preparing for school without her mother's obliging help._

_A deft hope on to her Ducati, and she took off for school. She weaved in and out of the grumbling traffic with ease, ignoring several red lights with a professional's style and talent. She was at school in a few minutes, for better or for worse, and she parked the motorcycle in a secluded patch of forest._

_Shrugging off the stares with practiced glares and a feeling of déjà vu, she soldiered on to the entrance, wading in a sea of faces that seemed so familiar, yet were complete strangers to her. She sensed that they were once part of a memory – a memory that involved an oak tree, a playground, and mayonnaise._

_The clouds parted momentarily, and the sunlight slammed into her eyes with the subtlety of a flashing knife, blinding her. Blinking, she shook her head to clear the temporary daze, but what she saw next stunned her at a far greater impact than the sudden introduction of the sun's rays._

_Amongst those faces that prickled at strands of nostalgia, she noticed_

_Red, red, red,_

_And she stared with a sweeping shock that sprung from the depths of her stomach once the scene presented before her registered thoroughly._

_A sudden chill marched over her skin, pulsating a sort of horrified excitement – the kind one felt when they felt that they should know a person, but could not dare to call out and confirm it._

_Her eyes bored into the side of the unassuming girl's head, and she waited._

_Waited for her to fall under the power of her will and some divine force,  
waited for her to turn around and spot Natsuki in the ocean of bobbing heads,  
waited for the gentle spark of recognition to light up in the other's red eyes,  
waited for something that never came._

_Vaguely, she wondered how long she would be waiting, even as she watched the retreating head of flax hair that stood out amidst the crowd. She briefly considered applying for a dormitory, just so that she could wait for the something that never came, and decided upon it almost immediately._

_On that day, Natsuki made the first step in earning her reputation for truancy._

_It had something to do with knowing that if she looked back, she might just break._

---

Fujino Shizuru was not as selfless as her fangirls made her out to be.

She cared for others, of course, although mostly with a somewhat minimalistic approach into that field. She sincerely loved what little true friends she made throughout the course of her life, and she did feel a sort of emotional attachment to her parents as most children would do, even if hers was just a little less.

It is a fact that humans are naturally self-orientated creatures, despite their instances of altruism and numerous sacrifices. It was not a crime to be primarily concerned with one's own welfare, contrary to popular belief, although it is looked down upon when taken to the extreme. Like most people, Shizuru devoted a keener portion of her attention on her personal interests.

It could be said that she was the solar system – cups of tea were her moons, friends were her planets, stars were her little wishes, the sun was her life (diminishing bit by bit, nonetheless), and it was a pretty nice universe she had there. A pretty nice world.

After all, Shizuru knew about her world.

And her world had _everything_ to do with Natsuki.

**'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''**

Oh, look, it's an inkling of plot!  
Yes, I hope the story will move out of its Introduction-Angst-Explanation-Ending-Repeat status in the next few chapters, although I am saddened to say that I cannot guarantee that.

This was originally intended to be a two-shot, actually, but it kept coming, somehow. Must be something I ate, or my itching fingers that feel hyperactive because of the lack of computer games to play.

As always, a big thank you for all the reviews!


	4. So Tell Me

Disclaimer: Never will.

Note: Nothing to add.

---

Everyone dreams. Dreams of flying, dreams of falling, dreams of running, dreams of dying, dreams of quiet meadows, dreams of gushing streams, dreams of waving grass, dreams of roaring seas, dreams of brilliant skies, dreams of lush forests, dreams of gathering clouds; dreams of just about anything, really.

Natsuki had dreams too. When she was young, she dreamt of being a veterinarian – if Duran ever got sick, she could cure him, and she could heal all the other animals too. But then she grew a bit older, and realised that being a veterinarian was a bit farfetched considering her patience for education.

She then dreamt of racing, motorcycles, wealth, fame, and world championships. She would participate in all the races, and emerge victorious from all of them – she had planned everything already, from rookie to expert. But then she grew just a bit older than older, and realised that she could never afford the preparation fees.

The incident occurred, and Natsuki then dreamt of revenge. She would seek out her mother's murderers, destroy the entire organization, and bury their members' faces into the bitter pit of redemption. But then she grew older than just a bit older than older, and realised that Shizuru had fulfilled her wishes.

Once, Natsuki gripped her sheets strongly, mumbled determined words, gritted her teeth, and woke up in the morning to feel weary.  
Now, Natsuki thrashes in her sleep, fights the covers, breaks out in cold sweat, and wakes up in the morning to feel completely drained.

Once, Natsuki dreamed of the impossible.  
Now, Natsuki had only one dream left.

Once, Natsuki wasted her time dreaming of veterinarians, winning trophies, and payback.  
Now, Natsuki wastes her time dreaming of her most precious person.

_So tell me, Shizuru – do you dream of me too?_

---

**So Tell Me**

_She once thought that love was fickle._

**'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''**

"I don't love you."

"Oh? I know that."

Her husband pulled an amiable, if somewhat shaky, smile. Shizuru looked beyond his neat spectacles, into his eyes, and saw a shred of expectation. He sighed, a wavering breath. He removed his glasses from their seat on the bridge of his nose and fished out a cloth from his pocket, wiping the lenses calmly.

"That face. It's as much a wall as a window – do you think I do not see your excited smile, reserved for when only the phone rings? Your vibrant eyes as both of you converse on the phone? Your affectionate tone?"

Shizuru dared not breathe.

"… They should make a law against it, y'know? That people can't marry unless _both_ of them truly love each other."

He chuckled glumly, unable to hide the sourness of his voice – as if he was cracking a joke that even he found distasteful himself. Shizuru tried smiling politely, at a loss whether to laugh with relief or cry with guilt. She chose to keep miserably silent instead, watching her husband with an apologetic gaze.

"He better be worth it."

"_She_."

He raised his eyebrows at her correction, and caught on quickly. He gave her a judging look, closed his own eyes, sighed remorsefully, but nodded. A short, accepting nod – a nod that, if worded, would be written out into a hundred-page poem. Shizuru managed to feel a little bit worse than she already felt.

"I… I wish you the best."

_This was it, then_, he concluded.

He would never see her sincere, charming, gorgeous grin. He would never see the face that he had been living to see all these years. He would never be the one to make the only person he had ever loved happy. He would never witness the true Shizuru, the one that he had wished for ever since he met her ten years ago.

But he had learnt to let go.

"So tell me, Shizuru, who is this precious person that you love?"

She paused, and gave him a smile that was brighter than what he could _ever_ hope for.

---

"Kuga-san!"

"Yes, Towada-san?"

Natsuki watched the shy girl bounce towards her, nearly tripping over the pebbles in her path to the person she called out to. Towada Makino was her classmate – amber-haired, cute, clumsy, innocent, and popular with both the girls and boys. She slowed down as she reached Natsuki, placing both arms on her knees to support herself after her long run.

"Umm, Kuga-san, I … I r-really like you."

"Huh?"

"Uh, p-please accept my feelings."

Makino turned into a healthy shade of red, thrusting a bouquet of red roses into Natsuki's shocked arms. Natsuki had known that Makino had something for her, but she never expected her to confess suddenly. She cursed inwardly, annoyed that she was behaving more like the fake Natsuki than her real self.

"I'm sorry, Towada-san. I can't do that."

"Is it because I'm a girl, too… ?"

Natsuki felt something contract painfully inside her, and images of the Carnival seeped into her mind with the speed of a bullet – dull rubies, fragile golden strands of silk, glinting light-crimson metal, the darkness within a bell, a withering flower, that crushed smile, a desperate glance, a massacre, crumbling foundations, frantic screaming, and a dying warmth as she was enveloped in a hug.

"No."

Makino was stunned by the softness and sincerity in that one word, and her mouth refused to move. Kuga Natsuki had given everyone the cold shoulder, accompanied by a fierce glare, to practically everyone who dared approach her. She did not expect her voice to be barely audible when she responded, although she was relieved.

"Then, why?"

"I… I already have someone I love."

The way her answer was breathed out, in a fascinated whisper, was enough for Makino to be convinced that Natsuki, the epitome of social-inefficiency, was truly in love. Makino felt like she should have been tearing up by now, but once she saw that Natsuki herself seemed so amazed by her own reply, she found it hard to cry in front of such a beautiful sight.

"She loves me back."

Makino nodded dumbly, but she was listening intently to her words. Natsuki appeared to be talking to herself, although Makino knew that that was not the case – the emerald-eyed girl was looking straight at her, even if her voice sounded far-off and dreamy. She was startled when she realised that she had just described Natsuki's tone as 'dreamy', and blinked.

"But she's married already, and it's time for her to move on. I still love her, and I'll continue loving her, but I'm quite happy with just being her friend."

Makino was silent. She had considered asking Natsuki to let go of her lost love, and hopefully be her own girlfriend, but there was something in Natsuki's manner that held her back, made her feel guilty about it. She could do nothing but bite her tongue lightly, hoping that she did not blurt something offensive out.

"Am… am I foolish, Towada-san?"

Natsuki chuckled, unsure of herself. Since when would she ramble about her romantic problems in front of near-strangers? She tucked her hands into the pockets of her jacket, closing her eyes, shutting out distractions to think clearly – she was far beyond thinking clearly already, though.

"And that's why I can't return your feelings."

Natsuki finished, opening her eyes to look at Makino.

Natsuki would never settle for something other than the best, and she would never settle for Makino.

She would be the best veterinarian in the world.  
She would win first place in all the world championships.  
She would completely demolish the entire Searrs company.

Natsuki was someone who would never settle for something other than the best, because as long as she knew that the grand prize was still in sight, she would continue walking.

"So tell me, Towada-san, have you ever _really_ been in love?"

---

"_You remind me of someone."_

"_Oh, really?"_

_Natsuki deadpanned, feigning disinterest. She did not look up from her mayonnaise sandwich, in fear of Shizuru catching her thrilled smile. She felt her heartbeats quicken, and steered her attention to Shizuru. Although she tried to smother the trembling pulse of hope that rose in her, she could barely stop her hands from shivering in excitement._

"_A childhood friend."_

"_Hmm."_

"_Her name was Natsuki too."_

_The blue-haired girl would have choked on her food had she not mustered all her self-control, afraid to make a fool of herself if she yelled that she was the Natsuki Shizuru was talking about and Shizuru did not recognize her. She took a slow bite from the sandwich, determined not to let her chewing divert her concentration from what her red-eyed friend would say next._

"_As a matter of fact, she looked exactly like you. Younger and shorter, though."_

"_My long lost twin?"_

_Natsuki added, sarcasm laced throughout her words – it was expected of her, and Shizuru would get suspicious if she had not said so. It hurt her that she had to deny her identity, and her presence in Shizuru's past, but Natsuki steeled herself and awaited her friend's response._

"_Mmm, perhaps."_

"_And?"_

"_She was older than you, however. Older than me."_

_Natsuki felt her flame of hope extinguish, and a cold wave of harsh disappointment flooded through her body. For a while, she was deeply angered at the fact that Shizuru could not remember her well enough, but her default rationality took over once she realised that she could never stay furious at Shizuru for long._

"_Her birthday was close to yours, I think."_

"_What was it?"_

_A prompt._

"_I was only seven, Natsuki. I can't remember."_

_Natsuki wondered if this misconception of her age as compared to Shizuru's back then was another way for life to bite at her, and she gnawed savagely at her sandwich. The mayonnaise provided some solace, and Natsuki focused on taking comfort in the delicious substance as to avoid screaming out loud._

_That was me, Shizuru.  
That girl you remembered from your childhood was Kuga Natsuki, you fool._

_You irritating, stupid, forgetful,  
adorable, clever, beautiful fool._

"_What was so marvelously intriguing about this girl that you would remember her after ten years?"_

"_And why would my Natsuki want to know? Is she jealous?"_

"_I-I'm not your Natsuki –"_

_But I __**wished**__ I was._

" – _And I want to know why she reminds you of me!"_

"_Ara."_

"_So tell me!"_

_And so Fujino Shizuru told Kuga Natsuki, the girl who could only find a place in her most precious person's memories through somebody that did not even exist._

---

"The media reported that the Arumajiki Circus will be coming in to town this Saturday."

"Ara, do you have any plans about that?"

She asked jovially, turning to face him. She slipped a finger in the middle of the page as a temporary bookmark, and closed the book that she was reading. He brushed the invisible dust off his crisp shirt and black pants with the air of a professional, shaking his head in an indication of reluctant rejection.

"I'm busy that day. We have to meet with some business partners for dinner, and discuss some company issues."

"Then… ?"

"I think… you should go. With Kuga-san."

He smiled in such a genuine way that Shizuru was taken aback, marveling at how someone so self-sacrificing could survive for as long as he had in the business realm. Gratified by his generous offer, yet feeling at fault for the circumstances he was in, she looked at him with guarded curiosity.

"Is it really fine with you?"

"It will be good… for you to spend time with the one you love."

"Are you sure?"

He breathed in sharply.

"Very."

He picked his briefcase up by its handle, swinging it over his shoulder nonchalantly. Shooting her a mischievous smirk, he slipped out of the door, shouting a few last words before rushing off to work.

"After all, I want to see that lovely smile of yours more often!"

Shizuru's eyes widened, and a fond expression took over her face. She leaned to the side to pick up the phone, pulling slightly on the cord that refused to yield, and dialed a few familiar numbers. It was not long before the person on the other end picked up, greeting her gruffly.

"Kuga Natsuki. Who's this speaking?"

"So tell me, Natsuki, are you free this Saturday?"

---

Natsuki sat on her blanket, fiddling with its edges idly. They had lain out the old blankets on the wet grass so that they could sit on them, as to not dirty their clothing. It had rained just that morning, in a vicious torrent that surprised campers – the field was now damp and muddy, deserted by angry boy scouts.

Shizuru was seated on the pastel-yellow sheet beside her, smoothing out its creases patiently. She leaned back, planting her arms behind her to prop herself up. Natsuki could not help but stare at her face, acknowledging every minute detail that she had long since memorized – the moonlight hit Shizuru's face perfectly, illuminating every feature.

"They seem so close, Natsuki."

"… I used to think that if I reached out, I'd be able to touch them."

Shizuru snorted with laughter, falling flat on her back as she was unable to control her chortling. Her arms slapped down to the ground inelegantly, donning a cheerful grin that was a tad bit too silly to fit her reputation of being a graceful woman.

Natsuki thought that she had never been more beautiful.

"Ara, but the stars are so far away!"

_So are you._

"There's no harm in hoping."

Shizuru looked at Natsuki with astonished maple-red eyes, but the surprise in them gradually dissolved into contentment. She smiled warmly at the dark-cobalt-haired girl that wore such a somber expression, patting Natsuki's trouser-clad thigh in mock-encouragement.

"I never knew that Natsuki could sound so mature."

Undaunted, Natsuki crossed her arms and huffed. In truth, she took great pleasure in these little arguments that were initiated by a teasing remark from her flaxen-haired friend. They could go on and on, with Shizuru attacking and Natsuki parrying. In the end, though, Shizuru would always win.

Just as Shizuru had planned.  
Just as Natsuki had planned.

"Of course! I'm not a child!"

Shizuru stiffened, and her eyes glazed over with a strange sadness that probably hurt Natsuki more than her. A quiet hush settled onto them like a thick quilt, and as seconds passed, Natsuki grew increasingly uncomfortable in the heavy atmosphere that almost seemed to suffocate them.

"Yes, Natsuki is not a child."

"Y-yes."

Another moment of painful silence.

"Natsuki, look!"

The night lit up like a hundred flaming arrows; even the stars paled in comparison, transforming into background scenery to give way to the multiple pieces of comet that blazed a trail through the ebony landscape. Eventually, the barrage of fire faded away, and Natsuki let out the breath she never knew she was holding.

"Ara, meteor showers are beautiful."

_No, __**you**__ are._

"Mmm."

Natsuki was distantly aware of the space that separated her and Shizuru – empty, cold, but promising tenderness just a few inches away. She sighed.

"Do you think I'll be able to touch the stars, if I stretch my arm out?"

"Perhaps, Natsuki. Perhaps. As Natsuki said, there's no harm in hoping."

Natsuki smiled bitterly.

She once thought that if she stretched her arm out, she would be able to touch her.

_So tell me, Shizuru – perhaps, one day, will you grab a star with me?_

**'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''**

You have no idea how hard I tried not to replace "Oh, really?" with "O RLY?"  
The overall results are out, and I actually managed to pass for this year. In your face, Natsuki!

Thanks for reading.


	5. Just a Little

Disclaimer: Lolwhut.

Note: It's coming to an end.

---

The lights dimmed, landing the inside of the pavilion into an indecisive state of semi-darkness. The crowd paused briefly before breaking out into a remarkable collection of hooting, cheering, excited whispering, laughter, shouting, screaming, and enthusiastic waving. A spotlight focused on the center of the ring, revealing a small podium.

The ringmaster entered the circle, hopping gallantly onto the miniature stage. He bowed, and signaled for the crowd to keep silent. Once he had finished introducing the performances and thanked various sponsors, he stepped off the podium and exited the ring with a swish of his silk cloak and a click of his fine boots.

The clowns stumbled into the ring, tripping over misplaced toy trucks, dressed in outlandish garb, dancing to high-pitched music, riding panicking hogs, fighting with pet monkeys, tossing pies wildly, making strange faces at each other, spraying water everywhere, and screeching in helium-ravaged voices.

Trapeze artists flew past the audience on thin lengths of cords, deftly swinging from rope to rope, maneuvering gracefully, drawing awed exclamations from the astounded crowd, casting moving shadows on the ground, performing amazing stunts, and landing perfectly on the assigned platforms as they glowed with pride.

A chorus of roars ripped through the air, and tamers jogged into the arena. Lions followed in agile strides, leaping through the seemingly tiny rings of fire, balancing precariously on massive rubber balls, climbing slim poles to steady themselves on the rickety structures, enduring painful strikes of the whips their tamers clutched in their rough hands.

A tamer bravely pried open a lion's mouth, and stuck his head into it. Shizuru inched closer to her blue-haired friend, clinging to her arm in fear – not for the tamer's safety, but in fear of what would happen to the lion should it happen to "accidently bite off the tamer's head if it decides that its jaws are tired".

Natsuki found her reasoning rather ridiculous, but she didn't mind.

Shizuru had always been just a little too eccentric, after all.

---

**Just a Little**

_Forever was never enough for her._

---

The clatter of dinner plates was clearly heard in the otherwise silent room, furnished simply yet expensively. A few famous paintings adorned the walls, amongst the vintage-pattern wallpaper. Porcelain jars of extravagant flowers lined the shelves, alongside display sets of exotic medicines, and transparent bottles of pricey spices.

"Your father called."

"Ara, what did he say?"

"He wanted us to visit him over in Kyoto, talk about our marriage. I apologise – I couldn't refuse him without directly rejecting his invitation this time."

"Ookini, for trying. It's fine."

"There was something about a ceremony to confirm our relationship."

"It's a family tradition."

"He also mentioned something about children and future heirs, I'm afraid."

An awkward cough followed the sentence, and the man scratched the back of his neck sheepishly as he looked at his wife. Coarse black hair framed his face, messy but fashionable. His nose was sharp yet undefined, his jaw delicate yet strong, his eyes soft yet purposeful, and his large mouth was pulled into a lax smile.

But what Shizuru wanted was luxurious blue tresses, a beautiful face set in a rebellious expression, pouting lips which were all too lovely, incredibly-addictive blushes, soft features that were constantly accommodating her cute frown, and intriguing eyes that spoke volumes to make up for what she didn't say.

Sometimes, we can't have what we want.

"When is the visit due?"

"The day after tomorrow."

"So soon?"

"We've been putting it off for months already, actually."

The Kyoto woman sighed softly, graciously cutting her salmon into smaller pieces which were easier to eat. For a moment, only the gentle clink of cutlery could be heard in the dining room as stainless-steel knives met the exquisite ceramic plates. Fractions of food vanished from before them as they ate, as if they were an ordinary couple enjoying a meal in silence.

"You might want to inform Kuga-san."

"I'll be calling her later to tell her."

And perhaps she would call her the next day too, and the day after that. A regular routine of starting the daily conversations on the phone, as a matter of fact. Just in case. While she was keeping Natsuki up-to-date with her activities, she could also talk to her about more welcomed things as well.

But, yes, Shizuru decided that she would call her every day. Just to make sure.

Natsuki had always been just a little too absentminded, after all.

---

The cheap plastic bag could barely contain its contents, rolling about on the tabletop before finally coming to a rest. It sat there innocently, while moments ago it had just threatened to leap off the edge of the table and incidentally murder the pair of dizzy goldfish that floundered around in it.

They had travelled far, from a game stand in the Arumajiki Circus grounds, to the home of Kuga Natsuki. After their treacherous journey bouncing up and down hazardously on a speeding motorcycle, they were tossed about by their own plastic-bag-home mercilessly. Somewhat miffed, they resolved to stay still to sulk.

"You can't possibly be serious."

"Ara, but I am!"

"Who names their goldfish Shindou and Chiba? In fact, who even names their _goldfish_?"

"A lot of people name their pet fish."

"But you can't even tell those two apart!"

"This one has a cute, defiant look in its eyes. She's also faster than the other one. This is Chiba."

"Wait, how could you tell their gender?"

"Instinct. They're both females, by the way."

"… Instinct."

"Yes, instinct."

"I'm going to trust you on that one, Shizuru."

"Mmm, Chiba resembles Natsuki, doesn't she?"

"She does not!"

"She does."

"And I assume that Shindou takes after you?"

Inwardly, Natsuki supposed that the goldfish did somewhat remind her of Shizuru. It moved with a quiet confidence that was all too familiar, its scales were a healthy blend of stunning gold, its tail and fins were wispy frames of fading crimson. In a sense, it seemed to be an extremely rare species of fish, the only one of its kind, although it was just a common goldfish.

The words 'attractive' and 'ethereal' _did_ come to mind.

But Natsuki was certain that Shindou was not very much like her best friend at all.

Shizuru had always been just a little too beautiful for comparison, after all.

---

_Bubbles._

_Natsuki thought that Shizuru had far more class to participate in such childish activities. Natsuki thought that Shizuru had far more sense than to invite her along to these very childish activities. Natsuki thought that Shizuru had far more reason than to suggest that she participate along in these same childish activities._

_Natsuki thought a lot of things, but what Natsuki thought about Shizuru tended to be incorrect._

_Shizuru dipped the bubble blower delicately into the little bottle that happened to be shaped into a cartoon bear. Natsuki chuckled, noting that it seemed as if she was thrusting a torture device into the poor bear's head. The crimson-eyed woman withdrew the wand, releasing a slight gust of air to form bubbles._

_The bubbles populated the sky, their numbers quickly multiplying._

_They were the tough, burst-resistant kind. Quietly, Natsuki mumbled something about it being just like Shizuru to buy that type._

_The pair of girls stood on the peak of the hill, the grass tussled by the gentle breeze, watching the graying sky being overtaken by bubbles._

_The taller of the two realised that the saying "what goes up must come down" was not quite so true._

_They just went further up, soaring to unreachable, unbelievable heights. _

_Heights so unreachable, that they got lonely because there was nobody else around.  
Heights so unbelievable, that eventually everyone forgot all about their very existence._

_It must have been cold up there._

_Still, Shizuru saw that these bubbles were like wishes. Fragile, hopeful, many, yet all eventually died._

_Shizuru relied more on her lies. They were solid, powerful, imposing, and reproductive._

_She fed them to her fangirls, her friends, her parents, the world. But only a small helping at a time, she always remembered. The supply never ran out, though. In spite of all these outputs, she still managed to live off her own lies._

_Not that she was a deceiving creature._

_Everyone had their own weapons – brutal strength, smooth tongues, charming appearances, illustrious backgrounds, surprising speed, impressive intelligence, slippery flexibility, stunning endurance, shrewd craftiness, helpful resourcefulness, dependable trustworthiness, or sheer wits._

_What Shizuru had was a lie.  
And a lie generated more lies._

_What Shizuru had were lies, and if lies were her weapons, then she would use them._

_People adored her lies._

_Silently, the flaxen-haired girl paused in her own thoughts, which were just as wrong as Natsuki's, but in a different, warped way._

_Like bubbles._

_Shizuru had always been just a little too ruthless, after all._

---

"She's leaving for Kyoto."

"And?"

"That's it, she's leaving for Kyoto. She's leaving Fuka. She's leaving me."

A glass of undistinguishable liquid – most likely alcoholic – was placed heavily on the chipped, weary counter. A long, suffering sigh was drawn out, and a withering look was passed to the cobalt-haired girl. Frankly, Nao was getting tired of the lack of self-confidence Natsuki had, or whatever it was that took her "dimwitted certainty" away.

"True."

Natsuki stared blankly, feeling her heart being crushed as she heard her friend just confirm her deepest worries. To be honest, she had not been expected that, nor comfort and denial, but just simple advice. She did not really think Nao would coldheartedly rub it in her face, pour oil into the fire, make the feeling hurt more.

"But she's waiting, Kuga. She's leaving you, and she's waiting for you to follow."

"…"

"The loyal dog follows its master, figuratively speaking."

"What?"

"Look here, Kuga. Do you treasure her?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Get to the point, Nao."

"She loves you. You love her. She leaves. It's only natural that you follow. The map is changing, and the treasure is moving. It's simple."

"No, it's not that simple."

A fist is slammed on the table, knuckles white from the intensity of the hold. Nao glares darkly at Natsuki, a reminiscence of the look she had during The Carnival. An even more foreboding expression crosses her face, and her lips were about to curl into a familiar sneer before, as quickly as the menacing expression had came, it disappeared.

"Fine, so _maybe_ it isn't that simple. I'm probably not one to know."

"…"

"But don't you think that she deserves to know? That she should know that you love her too? You love her, and you know she loves you, and you're relatively pleased with that. But she doesn't. She's left with this constant fear, constant self-loathing, because she thinks that she's scared you away."

"…"

"She thinks that her precious Natsuki doesn't want her anymore. Rejected by _you_."

"… Nao."

"Abandoned, actually. The master _abandoned_ by her faithful dog, the dog that she loves, the dog that loves her."

"Nao, stop."

"Hmm."

"Thank you."

With that, Kuga Natsuki was off to set things right. Nao exhaled heavily, feeling exceptionally light-headed – this time not because of her drink, but the strange sensation of a job well done. Returning to her glass, she sipped its contents, sniffed at its rim, and placed it aside.

She wondered about just when Natsuki started using her as a personal counselor.

Natsuki had always been just a little too slow when it came to Shizuru.

---

The rain thrashed upon her back, but she paid it no mind. The road was wet, slick, yet she found herself speeding at a rate that could attract policemen from overseas. The vision the weather provided her was near to none, but she merely hoped Ducati's headlights would suffice and ploughed on.

Flinging herself off her motorbike, she climbed over the iron-wrought gates, ignoring the gashes she received from the barbs that were meant to dissuade intruders. She raced down the cobblestone pathway, blindly stumbling, and paying absolutely no attention to the burglar alarm sounding shrilly.

She punched the doorbell, but there was no response for a minute. She couldn't afford waiting, and jammed a firm finger into the trigger, yet still there was no answer. Now terrified, Natsuki kicked the heavy oak door with such force that part of it shattered, and she hastily slid an arm through and half-gouged, half-picked the lock.

Thankfully, the lock was one of those that were satisfyingly expensive, but disgustingly easy to break. She threw the door open, its hinges shrieking in protest. A shout came from outside, but Natsuki had long fogged out all but one thought.

_Shizuru._

Lobby – nothing. Hall – nothing. Kitchen – nothing. Dining room – nothing. Bedrooms – nothing. Back porch – nothing. Room after room, with every single crevice, there was nothing to reward her desperate search. Furniture was tossed aside in a frenzy, refrigerators and wardrobes overturned as all logic left her mind.

_No, no, no._

_It doesn't happen. It doesn't happen this way._

Natsuki screamed, and police sirens screamed back.

_**No.**_

She had always been just a little too late.

---

A (very reluctant) trip to Bali, a screw-up with the Internet, and a fascination with Pokémon Mystery Dungeon 2. I wonder if any of those excuses are valid.

I'm sorry. I was sort-of held up.  
I really need to review some stories, I see. Oh, the marvelous wonders I have missed in my absence!

This is the second last chapter.

Anyway, to reviewers:  
All of you have been my sole motivation to continue writing, as cheesy as I sound. Your support really boosted my moral, and somehow overtook my laziness. I really love it when someone openly shows that they appreciate my efforts enough to review, or even bother enough about the story to give critique or ask questions.

Thank you.  
Special thanks go to **jquackers** and **Blue Lone Wolf**, for putting up with my ceaseless rambling.


	6. How We Are

Disclaimer: Don't ask.

Note: My longest chapter ever. I really need to reply to the reviews.

---

When she was younger, Natsuki had trouble sleeping. Nightmares made her doubtful, secluded, bad-tempered, and sleeping became more stressful than school itself. She would see her mother, lips pulled into a silent scream, plunging off a cliff. She would see herself, immobilized and unable to help. She would see Duran, looking at her with betrayed eyes.

When she was younger, and when she had trouble sleeping, Shizuru would sing to her. She would place her head on her lap, tenderly stroking back strands of cobalt hair. She would smile with such affection that Natsuki would blush, fiddling with her thumbs distractingly. She would open her mouth to release such a melodious tune that Natsuki was sure that songbirds molted in envy.

When she was younger, when she had trouble sleeping, and when Shizuru would sing to her, Natsuki would not even bother with sleep. She would curl up in a protective position, which only teased more loving stares out of Shizuru. She would stay silent, unmoving. She would close her eyes, pretending to sleep while listening to a lullaby that wasn't sleep-inducing at all.

When Shizuru sang, it was far too precious to miss out on.  
When Shizuru sang, it was far too beautiful to miss out on.  
When Shizuru sang, it was far too haunting to miss out on.

When Shizuru sang, Natsuki would not bother with sleep at all, and she would stay awake listening to her for an eternity.

It remains truth that everyone wants something more. You could be the most satisfied of people, but still you would want more, be it knowledge, currency, attention, romance, adventure, friends, safety, freedom, or just about anything. There is _always_ more.

Perhaps it is greed.

But everyone is greedy.

It remains truth that there is no such thing as "need". Humans "need" water to survive, but do they_ need_ to survive? If you weren't alive in the first place, there wouldn't be anything to need. Humans only _want _to survive, and therefore they _want_ water, in the same way they _want_ food and air.

There is only want. Everyone _wants_ more.

When Shizuru sings, Natsuki is far too greedy to miss out on it.  
When Shizuru sings, Natsuki wants to hear it far too much to miss out on it.

That's just how we are.

---

**How We Are**

_She became a fool for her._

---

"We've managed to identify the suspect, sir."

"Good, good. Give me a verbal report now, officer."

"Well, the suspect has only one record to her name. Of course, this name we found in her passport, so it could be a false identity. The rest of the relevant documents seem to have mysteriously disappeared, possibly destroyed."

"Right, right."

His way of repeating words, which was both slow and gruff, seemed to irritate the 'officer'. The higher-ranking of the two lifted a muddy boot to rest it on the desk, dragging his other leg to the position beside it, and slouched against his chair lazily. The 'officer' frowned, wanting to reprimand the man but was afraid of the consequences of "insulting authority".

"Sir, her name is Kuga Natsuki. She was apprehended in the aristocratic district."

"I see."

"We've managed to trace her files to Fujino Shizuru. That person was listed as the "person to call in case of an emergency" in several school-related articles. Incidentally, the house we found her in has ties to the Fujino family."

"Interesting."

"She was arrested for trespassing, invasion of personal property. Judging by the state of the house, we suspect that she might have tried to steal something that she has yet to find. Everything was ransacked."

"Were any items of remarkable value found in the residence?"

"None. The owners might have taken them all when they left."

"Left? To where?"

"Kyoto. Our investigation revealed that they've gone to the main Fujino residence. The address will be attached to the soft copy of the report, which we have sent to your computer."

"Good, good. You're dismissed, officer."

"Thank you, sir."

The young 'officer' left the building, unchaining his bicycle from the lamppost outside and heading home. The one that stayed grabbed a magazine from the same desk he rested his feet on, browsing through it noncommittally. From the corners of his eyes, he peered over the magazine to observe the cell's occupant.

Natsuki lifted her head to counter his stare with a defeated smile, one that told of a million happy days that had suddenly been snatched away from right under your nose. She fiddled with the shackles around her wrists with some sort of wounded fascination, as if she did not fully understand what was happening at the moment.

"Why'd you do it, kid?"

"I was looking for someone."

"Someone?"

"Someone I love."

The man blinked, dropping the magazine and placing his hands on his stomach. On any other person, it would have seemed a sagely, professional position, but it almost looked comical on the policeman with the horribly wrinkled uniform. He heaved himself back into a sitting posture, boots falling from the desk to the floor.

"They weren't there, eh?"

"No. She wasn't."

"Your mother or sister?"

"Neither."

"An aunt? A niece?"

"No, a friend. A … _very_ good friend."

"Ah, the lack of boundaries in friendship really amazes me sometimes."

He drawled out, showing a yellow-toothed grin. Natsuki chuckled halfheartedly.

"It's more than that."

The old man looked bewildered for a couple of seconds, then guffawed.

"Young love! It's limitless! Hohoho, she must be a great person to be able to pick up a good looker like you! What's she like, eh?"

"… She's _not_ everything I've ever wanted, she's _not_ the one I've always been looking for, she's _not_ my destined soul mate, and she's _not_ all I've ever dreamed of – but she's my entire universe."

"… That bad, huh?"

"You could say that."

"Would that explain the thrashed house?"

"She's going to get married in Kyoto, and I haven't even told her that I love her yet."

All was quiet for a while, but then the old man pressed a button on the printer, apparently still busy with his work. He coughed for a bit, thumping his chest savagely.

"Let me tell you what'll happen."

"… What?"

"Kuga Natsuki had already stolen the cell keys from the officer's belt while he wasn't looking. She unlocked her shackles and the cell door quietly, waiting until the guy in charge – that's me – seemed to be engrossed in paperwork. Then, she bursts out of the cell, to freedom!"

He recited excitedly, tossing a set of keys through the bars casually before continuing.

"After that, she quickly unchains her confiscated motorbike outside, and rushes off to find her loved one! How's that, kid?"

"… That would be great."

"What? No applause? Psh, and I thought I'd be a good movie director!"

The printer choked out a stack of papers, which the old policeman collected. By then, Natsuki had already exited the cell. The man took out a sheet of paper from his pile, handing it to the emerald-eyed girl.

"You're going to need her Kyoto address, I'd reckon. Her mansion is on the edge of a forested cliff – a rather fancy location."

"Thanks."

"It's about time I did something good for a change, hmm? I've seen too many youngsters thrown in the jailhouse 'cause they stole wallets to feed their hungry siblings. Now, shoo!"

Natsuki threw the chains aside, getting on her motorcycle. The engine started up, and Natsuki paused for only a while before clapping enthusiastically as she raced off.

"Now that's what I want to hear, kid!"

He waved his police cap wildly at the disappearing figure on the motorbike, before retreating to his desk. Gathering the papers, he picked up a pen from the pencil holder and began to scribble on the documents. The pen was leaking, the ink was runny, and all around the papers were ugly black blotches.

"Kids these days – as free as a bird to fall for anyone they like!"

He complained, stabbing a sheet of paper with his spoilt pen.

"Humans, such impulsive creatures!"

He fell into a lapse of silence.

"Wasn't it I who had just let a criminal free to go and look for her love, entirely on impulse?"

He chewed the tip of his pen thoughtfully.

"That's just how we are, I s'pose."

---

Sometimes, we have the luck to be spited at the worst timing possible.

The biker leaned forward on her Ducati precariously, surging forward at the highest speed she could achieve without falling off straightaway. The tires shriek in blatant agony every turn she made, so piercingly that a woman walking down the pavement fell over in shock. Not that Natsuki saw, though – she had more important things on her mind.

She veered quickly, cutting swift and sharp corners. A police car made an attempt at chasing her down, but Natsuki outran them in mere seconds. She almost knocked over several traffic wardens, but it was of no concern to her. The pressing matters at hand only allowed her to concentrate on her destination and getting there, not the insignificant details in between.

Natsuki took a shortcut on one of the lesser-used roads, on the surface of the cliff, rocky and twisting throughout. The motorcycle swerved to and fro like a little puppet, and Natsuki could not help but grunt from the effort of throwing the handlebars from side to side repeatedly. She had no time to caress or preen her abused Ducati, however.

The sense of urgency made Natsuki reckless, and there is always a catch. A flesh-tearing skid, an ear-splitting screech, wide-eyed horror, and the stomach-churning smell of burnt rubber; the way the motorbike threw itself off the edge was almost ironic. So close, yet so far.

Sometimes, we have the luck to be spited at the worst timing possible.

That's just how we are.

---

The mansion was styled after traditional Japanese culture, unsurprisingly. The moment they stepped into the well-kept garden, it was if time had reverted to an altogether different era. Slow croaks and crickets could be heard from somewhere near the pebble-framed pond, bamboo shoots growing out of its surroundings in neat patches.

The paper lanterns situated around the complex gave eerie yellow glows, flickering silently. An elderly female pushed open the sliding door, advancing towards them. She was dressed in a plain kimono, graying hair pinned up into a bun. The wrinkles on her face showed not only stress but also joy, and one would suspect that she had spent many a good time in the household.

"Ah, Fujino-sama has already gone to sleep. He informed me to tell you that he will see you in the morning, and that both of you should get a good night of sleep. I'll show you to your rooms."

Shizuru and her husband exchanged glances, before nodding and thanking the servant politely. They entered the actual house, slipping out of their shoes. Following the servant through the multiple corridors, they passed room after room until they finally came to a stop before two doors.

The servant brushed down the front of her kimono before gesturing to the first door.

"This will be Ojou-sama's room."

She then pointed to the second door, sizing up the young man that stood beside Shizuru. She liked the look of this plucky youngster, with his broad and earnest smile, but there was something not quite right about the picture the two made as a pair.

"And this will be yours. Fujino-sama has requested for you both to sleep in separate rooms until you are truly husband-and-wife."

She sniffed dejectedly, somewhat worried about all the work she had to do the day after, preparing for the ceremony. Even if she did care for the old man she had been serving for years, it was quite ridiculous to have to undergo some Fujino tradition of getting married, especially after already being married in a respectable shrine.

But, of course, this was Fujino-sama. He refused to accept the methods of those 'outsiders', and that meant that he would not see Shizuru and her husband as a couple until the proper Fujino marriage ritual was through and done with.

Shizuru strode into her assigned room as the servant ushered her husband into the other one, sitting down on the futon. It was not long before a soft knock came. She hesitated, then got up to slide open the door.

"Onee-sama, tell me a story."

It was a young girl, about six-years of age. She had long, black hair, and ocher eyes. She was good-looking, although not utterly gorgeous, but her unusual eye colour did give her a unique look.

Shizuru had never seen her before, but she immediately knew that it was one of her relatives. The Fujino family used to be quite big, but most of the branches had broken off ties and travelled to other countries – many of the Fujino women had foreign spouses, for some strange reason. She suspected it to be that they were tired of the strictly traditional ways of the Fujino household.

"Otou-san is sleeping, and your boyfriend scares me, so there's nobody else except you to tell me my bedtime story. None of that princess-knight-dragon kind, though. The fairytale ones are boring. They all have happy-happy-magical-glitter-glitter-pretty-pretty endings."

The way she spoke was brash and bold, hardly bothering with formalities at all. This went against the entire Fujino code, and Shizuru was certain that the little girl before her was one of those who got into trouble all the time. She felt her heart soften for the child.

"Ara, what's your name?"

"Suika."

"Okay, Suika-chan. I'll tell you a story."

Suika invited herself into the room, settling down on the futon comfortably. Shizuru marveled at her bravery – what little girl would dare to barge into a stranger's room, deciding to sleep on their futon, and demand a bedtime story?

"What's it about?"

"It's somewhat about a girl addicted to tea, somewhat about a Student Council President, and somewhat about a future wife who still pines for her illicit love."

Suika looked doubtful. Shizuru sighed.

"But … mostly, it's about … a monster."

"Now it's beginning to sound interesting!"

Shizuru smiled sadly. Suika did not notice.

"Humans are foolish creatures."

"That's a strange way to begin a story."

Suika interrupted, but seemed to be attentive. The young girl clambered under the covers, turned around to face her, and waited expectantly for her to continue. Shizuru paused, and this time, she did not smile at all.

What's the point of smiling, when the person you smile for isn't there to see it?

Foolishness.

"Ara, but that's just how we are."

---

_Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a princess._

_She was fed with warmth and showered with love, and although the King had long departed, she was satisfied with her mother and a little mongrel pup. They stayed in their humble castle, idling their days away with both laughter and tears._

_In actuality, the Queen was a magician, and she passed her affinity with magic to her daughter. A secret group of assassins decided to capture her, for they wanted that innocent beauty and magic for themselves. What power it would bring them!_

_The Queen knew about their treacherous plan, for she was a magician, after all. She dressed herself up as a commoner and decked her daughter in the same apparel, taking away their mongrel's royal-crest scarf and replacing it with a tattered collar._

_Climbing onto the wagon she had prepared, they set off to find safety. But the road was worn, fading, and narrow, especially so at the edges of the mountain paths they had to scale. Along the way, the loyal horse lost his footing and fell off a cliff, dragging the wagon down with him._

_Or at least, that's how the story goes._

_In another version, several highway men jumped out in the middle of the road and attacked them, injuring their horse and forcing the wagon off the cliff. These highway men were believed to be from the same secret group of assassins, and they set the scene up to make it look like an accident._

_Either way, the ending is the same._

_Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a princess._

_She was the only one to survive from the fall. Unused to the lack of the warmth and love she was usually bathed in, she grew cold and sour. A layer of thick ice formed over her heart, for it she was convinced that there would never be anybody for it to beat for again._

_She vowed revenge over her dead mother and faithful pup, searching the lands far and wide to find the murderers that killed her loved ones. She grew acquainted with pistols, and she hired some private investigators to widen the circumference of the hunt._

_She found that there was a school which seemed to have connections to the secret group and hastily signed up to attend it. She was assured that over time, she would eventually discover their headquarters. She would destroy them for taking away the people important to her._

_But then, she encountered a witch who longed for the hearts of innocent maidens. But the witch disguised herself as a beautiful noblewoman, and she became the princess's friend. As time passed, the witch grew more and more hungry for her heart, but the princess got away in time._

_Or at least, that's how the story goes._

_In another version, she met another girl._

_Bah! It's just a girl, what's so special about her?_

_Were you about to say that? I thought so._

_This girl was different. Immune to the princess's icy glare, she found what little warmth was left within her heart. She found a little spark of light. She found an antidote._

_This girl was different, and she saved the princess. She saved the princess from herself._

_Either way, the ending is the same._

_Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a princess._

_And she was wrong, because the ice around her heart thawed, for there was someone for it to beat for again._

_There are many versions to a story. Believe what you wish to believe; some may think differently, and this difference alienates them from others, but it is their will._

_Will is a want, and it drives us._

_That's how we are._

---

The sliding door was slammed to the side, revealing a creature that appeared to be on the verge of death.

"Who is this?"

The master of the Fujino household addressed the groom, tongue practically dripping with acid. He did not wish to directly communicate with the hooligan before him, who had barged into his daughter's wedding unceremoniously. Anger was buried deep in his eyes, but shone evidently. Because of this lout, the ceremony was less than perfect, and anything less than perfect was unacceptable.

The other man appeared unshaken, which was one of the characteristics he was chosen for as a husband to the older man's daughter, and remained poised even if he did eye the blood puddle forming on the floor questioningly. He cleared his throat, exchanging a glance with the bloodied mass leaning against the doorframe, and spoke.

"This is the one for Shizuru."

The older man shot him a look that was torn between confusion and fury, roaring.

"What are you talking about? You are the groom! This is a ruffian that has decided to disgrace itself for free food! Someone, throw him out!"

"This is no ruffian. This is a girl."

"I'm not laughing, you boar! Servants, just get her out!"

"This … is no prince charming. This is no heroine, no goddess. This is a lost girl."

He hesitated, but continued before the other man could respond.

"Yes, this is a lost girl. But how many people would scale miles with broken ribs, torn muscles, a leg that's scarcely attached to her hip, and blood gushing out of all her fatal wounds, just to see your daughter, while hardly even conscious?"

He said softly, straightening his tie out of habit.

"Even I, who believes with every inch of my heart that I love her, am certain that I would collapse before making half the distance."

The head of the Fujinos was speechless.

"This is a lost girl. A lost girl who loves Shizuru very, _very_ much."

The groom finished, satisfied. The father of the not-quite-bride glared at him with an intensity that would have felled a dozen oaks, but the recipient was undaunted. He cared more for Shizuru's welfare than some guy who was too stubborn to see that she could not be happy with him, as much as he would have liked it to be true.

Snatching the vase from the shelf nearby, he spun around and conveniently slapping it straight onto the older man's temple. He immediately dropped to the floor, out cold. The man who grasped the intact end of the vase muttered something apologetic before sweeping some porcelain shards off his tailored suit, discarding the broken vase.

Shizuru peeked into the room, lured in by the commotion. Natsuki lurched towards her, nearly stumbling to the ground.

"Natsuki!"

"Shi … zuru …"

Natsuki clutched the taller girl's sleeves as she held her in a helpless embrace, terrified that the emerald-eyed might crumple into pieces that can never be retrieved. And Shizuru cried.

Shizuru cried, for Natsuki who could not.

"Shizu … ru, beautiful flow … ers are meant … to be … loved."

She rasped, voice hoarse and rough – so unlike Natsuki, who had always been so expressive.

A young man wearing a sergeant's uniform charged in, yelling orders to fellow policemen who entered the room in formation. They pointed guns at the cobalt-haired girl, warily checking the status of the room's occupants. Eyes scanning the area, they circled their victim in seconds.

"Surrender now! We've surrounded you!"

"Sir, one man's down!"

Shizuru's father, who happened to be lying in a heap on the bloodstained floorboards with a face contorted by surprise, did look quite dead.

"So this was the motive for the raid in their house at Fuka."

"Quick, capture her!"

"She's already dying."

"Still, just get her."

They approached cautiously, and Shizuru would have fought every last one of them had she not been trying to support Natsuki, and the fact that her husband had already barreled one over with his elbows.

"Go!"

They didn't need to be told twice.

"Ookini."

Natsuki, gathering all the strength she had left, burst through the open door with Shizuru. Pushing herself on the disfigured motorbike waiting just outside, where she had left it, she started it up with Shizuru seated behind her. Already, the road before her looked blurry.

"Shizuru … when we were … very young, your kiss … made me like mayonnaise."

The flaxen-haired girl's eyes widened, realization hitting her.

"Natsuki …"

"Shizuru, you said … that you … would die for me … right?"

"… Of course I would."

The burgundy-eyed girl breathed, and Natsuki relaxed her grip on the handles.

"Then … you must … live for me too … because … in that next life … we'll find each other. Promise me … because I … won't tell you … that I love you otherwise."

She smirked, and Shizuru smiled.

"I promise, Natsuki."

And they both rode in companionable silence, because this would be their last.

This would be their last ride.

Ducati bounced off the rim faithfully, but soon disappeared under them due to its weight – leaving the pair to soar in the sky as they accelerated towards the ground that was all too far below.

"I love you, Shizuru."

"As do I, Natsuki."

This time, there was no shimmering green Carnival glitter.  
This time, there was no Kiyohime, and no Duran.  
This time, there was no pillars, no HiMEs, no elements.

"So … it took us … all this … just to be together?"

"Ara, would you rather not go through everything and not be hugging each other tightly as we plunge to our doom, frightened out of our wits?"

"… Baka, if that's what it takes … then this shall be how we are."

And beautiful, innocent, pure, yet deceitful, quick-witted, and so very much in love Natsuki held observant, sharp, alert, yet agonisingly oblivious Shizuru closer to her.

This time, it was their last ride, and the world was theirs.

---

I like to think that they found each other eventually, in a better day, a better world.  
Just assume that every ShizuNatsu AU is the sequel to this, then.

Originally, I planned to let them fly off on a winged purple hippo, but … yeah.  
I wouldn't want to seem like I'm on crack when I finish my first completed story.

Thanks for sticking with it so far. I'm glad that people like this story.  
Reviews would be very welcome – tell me what you think, okay?


	7. A short conversation

Disclaimer: Who am I kidding?

Note: I. Simply. Could. Not. Resist.

---

_A short conversation._

---

"Otou-san, what do you work as?"

"Why would you want to know that?"

"We have to write an essay on our fathers' jobs, and I've always wanted to know what that special badge on your uniform was for!"

"That's the Empress's Seal, Kiyo."

"Wooow, are you some secret agent bodyguard person?"

"No, not exactly."

"Then?"

"I'm actually … her secret admirer!"

"I don't think so. Stop lying to me or I'll get Okaa-san here."

"What? You can't be serious!"

"Oh, but I am, Otou-san."

"Pft, you've inherited your Okaa-san's manipulation capabilities."

"Spill it!"

"I'm her Messenger."

"She has billions of those. She wouldn't give you her Seal if your job was that common!"

"Aheheheh …"

"Okaa-san! Otou-san is telling lies again!"

"Ara, what did she say?"

"Crap."

"She said that she was the Empress's Messenger, but she has a sparkly Seal-thing and the Empress doesn't give out those for just being some moldy old Messenger."

"Natsuki, what do you have to say to that?"

"She's a sharp kid."

"…"

"Oh, fine!"

"Yay!"

"I'm her … mumblemumblemumble."

"What?"

"Please repeat that clearer, Natsuki."

"I'm her Super Secret Messenger."

"…"

"Don't give me that look."

"Otou-san, your job has a terrible name."

"Ara, it's Midori-san, after all. After she rose to the throne, you would expect her to change every single title into ones that she actually understood."

"All my friends are going to laugh at me now."

"Mou, Kiyo … you were the one who wanted to hear it."

"Make it up to me."

"What?"

"Ara, Natsuki's job, as strange as its name, led her on many exciting journeys to distant lands. Why don't you tell our little Kiyo about something that happened on one of your trips back to Fuka?"

"Ah … Shizuru … what are you suggesting … ahahahahahaha …"

"Otou-san, tell me, tell me!"

"Why don't I buy you that dog you've always wanted?"

"You're turning red. I have a feeling this story is much more worth it."

"Mumblemumble of course, all of Shizuru's offspring have to have some uncanny instincts mumble."

"Otou-san, I'm your child too, you know?"

"Must I really, Shizuru?"

"Would you really want to crush Kiyo's hopeful expression?"

"Arrrgh."

"Yay! Ookini, Okaa-san!"

"Hmph … okay, so one day, I was delivering back a package to Midori-san. It was really important and extremely fragile. I heard that it was actually her present to her fiancé, Youko-san."

"Ooooh."

"See, I was riding on Ducati … and you know how Ducati gets."

"Aww, but Ducati-chan's really docile for a hippo."

"Oh, not when he catches sight of something interesting! Anyway, so we were flying real smooth, high enough for me to reach out and pat clouds."

"Fufufu …"

"And suddenly, without warning, Ducati drops like a dead weight! I nearly pissed myself!"

"Maybe your breath was really bad that day, Otou-san. Like how it was last week and even Okaa-san refused to kiss you."

"K-Kiyo! No, it wasn't like that. He'd spotted something in the meadow below. It was the most gorgeous, beautiful, charming girl in the entire universe! Believe me, I've travelled the entire universe so I should really kno – aha! Shizuru, are you blushing?"

"Ara …"

"Hehe, so we sort of crashed into her. Thankfully, she wasn't hurt."

"You first met Okaa-san by _ramming_ into her with Ducati?"

"Hai. Ducati started licking her face all over like he was in heat. Which he wasn't."

"Wasn't Okaa-san terrified?"

"Ara, of course not. Ducati was purple, after all."

"That doesn't make sense, Shizuru. Just because something is your favourite colour doesn't mean it's not dangerous."

"Anyway, I was too busy staring at the impressive figure on the winged hippo."

"Otou-san and 'impressive' do not go well in the same sentence, Okaa-san. Unless it's 'Otou-san has been whipped impressively by Okaa-san'."

"Kiyo, don't be mean to your Otou-san."

"I'm not whipped!"

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Natsuki, stop arguing with your daughter."

"Hai …"

"Whipped."

"Kiyo, stop picking on your Otou-san. That's only for me to do."

"Hai …"

"Continue the story, Natsuki."

"Well, so I leapt off Ducati and strode towards the maiden in distress. Helping her up, I … uh … I helped her! Yes, I just helped her up. The end."

"Ara, that isn't how it goes. Natsuki carried me like a bride and kissed me passionately before –"

"Shi-Shizuru!"

"Before my father came out looking for me and thought his daughter was being attacked. He charged towards her and started swinging his axe wildly, but Ducati panicked and kicked him to the ground before he successfully beheaded your Otou-san."

"Ahahaha … I had a lot of explaining to do after that. I felt like I was going to die, having my ears hollered off by some whacky old man for two hours straight."

"Ara, my father is not a 'whacky old man'."

"Hai …"

"Otou-san, are you saying that you collided into a total stranger, decided to pick her up, and suddenly kiss her?"

"Yes, yes I am. I'm rather proud of it, actually – ouch! Shizuru!"

"Why?"

"Oh, uhm, I don't exactly know. There was just _something_ compelling me to do it …"

"Oh, alright. Ookini, Otou-san, Okaa-san."

"Wait, wait, you can't really write about my job! It's Super _Secret_ Messenger, remember?"

"What do you expect me to do, then?"

"Just … vaguely describe it. That should be simple enough."

"Hai, Otou-san. Maybe Yuki will think that it's interesting …"

"Ara, Yuki-chan? Isn't that that pretty girl of Haruka's and Yukino's?"

"Oh, you mean the one Kiyo keeps pining after?"

"Otou-san! Okaa-san! I do _not_ pine after her!"

"Well, you _whine_ a lot about her …"

"I'm going to my room. To write the report."

"Finally, someone that _I_ can tease easily!"

"Ara, I have a feeling that this would not go well."

"You worry too much, Shizuru. Now come here and give me a kiss like you mean it."

---

_Name: Kuga-Fujino Kiyo  
Class: 1-CK  
Date: 17__th__ Dikymbar, Year 3246_

_My father's job is questionable._

_In conclusion, she collides into people while riding her winged purple hippo, sexually harasses them, and ends up being scolded by whacky old men who were trying to kill her seconds ago – just because she feels like it._

_That was how she met my mother._

---

The winged purple hippo haunted me in my dreams.  
Yes, this is a change of style – it wasn't even intended to be written.

Note on Previous Chapter:  
Yes, I felt that the injuries were slightly forced as well. But still, there is a hazardously slim chance of survival after falling off a cliff on a speeding motorbike – not to mention that she climbed all the way back up and marched for miles to get to Shizuru. She would have lost quite a lot of blood by then.

Looks like I have some way to go before I can write this sort of things properly.

Thank you for reading.


End file.
